You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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