You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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