Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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