I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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