So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
