i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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