Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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