Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i dont even know how to be here
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
