im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
