What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
