if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
there was a trapeze. enough said
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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