I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
