is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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