I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Randomize
