I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she told me i tasted like america
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
