The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
