never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
