I got chris browned last night
Can i not drive my cunt home
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
