Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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