he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
