We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
