but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
