I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
