it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
