After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
