I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
