He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
