so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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