member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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