So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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