Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
