Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
