You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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