The brown eye won't let me do that either.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
