Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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