This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I met the friendliest cop last night
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
