Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
