Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
