the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Randomize
