I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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