I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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