i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
