ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
