Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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