i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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