We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
