Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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