is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
