Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
