shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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