love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
