I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
