so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
