lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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