i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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