i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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