I like my sex mixed with concussions.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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